aLive @ Stage 4!

   People wonder why I'm a fan.  Why I watch the old series every Saturday night at 8:00pm.  Why I took her on our most recent family vacation (she was our version of Flat Stanley).  The short answer is that she reminds me to be strong. She reminds me to be strong, even when I want to throw in the towel. Every time I have to make multiple phone calls to try to schedule multiple appointments for the same day, which entails going to multiple departments within the hospital.   The other day I realized I could find my way from the Lombardi cancer center to the Bles Infusion center to Cardiology without looking at the directional signs on the wall or asking for help. Glad and sad about that at the same time. Every three weeks when I go for my IV infusion.  Every six weeks when that infusion is coupled with an appointment with my oncologist. Every evening at 7:00pm when my alarm goes off reminding me to take my daily medication. Each and ev...

Yesterday I saw someone I haven't seen since my diagnosis (and long hair). I was standing nearby while she chatted with someone else.  It was clear she didn't recognize me until I spoke to her.  She seemed glad to see me and asked how I was.  I explained, in the shortest version I can, that I'm "stable" and "no evidence of active disease" and will continue to be on treatment for the rest of my life.  When she asked, "How are you doing?" my answer was "Fine; I'm still alive!"  The look on her face....  I really need to remember that not everyone is comfortable with the jokes ... but it's not just that; sometimes I'm not joking but it comes out that way unintentionally. The other day I was checking out at the grocery store, and a prompt came up on the credit card scanner asking if I wanted to donate to cancer research.  I said, out loud, "No, I've already donated enough to cancer research."  Hahahaha!  I...

Hair.  It defines us, I think more than we realize.  We can change our look just by styling our hair differently.  Have it cut after wearing it long for a time, you look completely different.  Wear it short for a time, then let it grow, you look completely different.  Change the color, you look completely different.  Heck, you look different with or without bangs.  You wear it up when you dress up to go out.  You wear it down to be more casual.  You put it in a ponytail or under a ball cap when you don't want to deal with it.  I used to think of my hair as my best feature.  It was long, it was wavy.  It was curly when I was younger.   When I was little, my dad would sing, "I know a little girl, who has a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead."  When I was in high school, it would take me an hour to blow dry the curls out of my hair.  When I was in my early twenties, I learned to embrace the curls....

All of my treatments, tests, oncology, and cardiology appointments take place at Georgetown University Medical Center.  With no traffic, it usually takes about 40 minutes to get there from home.  In rush hour, it has taken up to two hours.  I try to consolidate my appointments in as few days as possible, because it can take so long to get there, and to minimize the number of days taken off from work.  I thought I'd share with you what a day looks like.  Actually, I'll illustrate "regular" days and "medical" days. A typical, "normal, every day" work day has me working at a high school as a teacher's aide.  I love it.  My co-workers, the students -- the day is never dull.  Most days are exhausting, sometimes quite entertaining; never dull.  :)   Before my treatments started a year ago, a normal day would consist of actually doing productive, "normal" things after work.  I would make dinner (most days), play with the d...

When I started seeing my cardiologist, she told me she wanted me to start walking.  Interval walking -- you know, walk for a time, walk faster for a few minutes, slow down, speed up, etc.  Either/or start walking up the stairs more.  Something to get my heart rate up.  So, I started walking up the stairs at home once or twice a day, in addition to walking down the stairs at work at least twice, and up them at least once, per day.  I'd have a good routine going, then I had surgery and stopped.  Started again, overdid it, stopped.  Started again, caught a cold, stopped.  Well, today I got on the treadmill.  Why the treadmill and not outside now that the weather has warmed up?  A few reasons:  It's raining, so that right there would do it.  The treadmill keeps me at a steady pace.  Also, I can track it, and hopefully see an improvement in time, distance, and speed as time goes on.  The treadmill has something I...

I've been looking forward to this day for a while now, just so I could write this "one year later" post.  I'm finding it, actually, difficult, but here goes. One year ago today, Jimmy and I sat in my surgeon's office and the world shifted.  I know that's an overused statement, but at that moment, I really felt something shift.  Emotionally, mentally, everything shifted.  At that time, we thought it was early Stage III.  We found out after the lung biopsy that it was, in fact, Stage IV.  I remember the day so clearly.  It was snowing, and everything was closed.  I was so glad that the doctor's office was open so we wouldn't have to wait any longer for the test results.  I remember pulling into the hospital parking lot and finding it mostly empty, except for a few cars and the plow.  The plow driver seemed none to happy to see another car in the lot, let me tell you.  ;) So, we got the news (I have a previous blog post talkin...

In my post the other day ( It's Not All Pretty Pink Ribbons ), I mentioned the medications that I'm on now that chemo and surgery are over.  Not only was I a little remiss in my description (thank you, ladies, for pointing out my error), when I corrected it, it still seems a little fuzzy.  Let me try to clear it up here. In conjunction with my chemo medication, I was also given Herceptin (transtuzumab) and Perjeta (pertuzumab).  Now that chemo is over, I still am on Herceptin and Perjeta.  I will be taking these meds (every three weeks, via infusion) for the rest of my life, or until they stop working and we need to try something else.  Here's a good way of explaining what they do, from breastcancer.org : "Herceptin works by attaching itself to the HER2 receptors on the surface of breast cancer cells and blocking them from receiving growth signals. By blocking the signals, Herceptin can slow or stop the growth of the breast cancer." Also, from  bre...

Yesterday I had my regularly scheduled appointment with my oncologist, and maintenance infusion number 6.  It was an incredibly long day.  They always seem to be long and tiring, these appointment days.  My first appointment was at 9:30am, which means leaving the house at 7:30am to allow for traffic.  On a good day, not at rush hour, it should take under an hour to get to Georgetown from my house.  It has, though, taken two hours to get there, in bad rush hour traffic.  Yesterday, we (Jimmy, my wonderful  husband, drives me) left just before 7:30 and dropped our 14 year old son off at school on our way.  Traffic was normal for rush hour, and we parked at just about 9:00am.  They called me back right away, took vital signs as normal, then we wait.  Sometimes it's a short wait, sometimes it seems to take forever.  While we wait, we pass the time chatting and/or playing games on our phones.  Inevitably, my mind wa...

Here is the link to my caringbridge page on this subject:   It's Not All Pretty Pink Ribbons Click there and read that first, then come back here.  I have a few things to elaborate on. Let me start by saying, I love pink.  Someone gives me something pink, and to me it's a caring gesture; it shows that person cares about me.  I wear the necklaces and bracelets.  I use the coffee mugs and water bottles, and the badge holder.  I write in the journal with the pink pen.  My husband wears a pink shirt when he takes me to my medical appointments.  I use the shawl and the blankets.  The candle sits on my nightstand for when I'm feeling a little nauseous.  Whenever I use one of these items, I think of the person who gave them to me with warmth.  When I see someone out in public wearing a pink ribbon, there's an instant sense of comradery.  Most of the times, we stop and chat, tell our stories to each other. Breast cancer is portr...