aLive @ Stage 4!

There is a misconception that with cancer, it's diagnosis-chemo/radiation/surgery--done/cured.  Not so.  I don't know when we as a society started to substitute the word remission with cured.  Did they find a cure for cancer and I never heard about it?  I didn't realize this had happened until I was diagnosed.  The nurse practitioner said, "I'm so sorry; it's Stage IV, there is no cure."  I thought, "Duh, it's cancer, everyone knows there's no cure" and in my state of shock thought her wording was odd, but thought nothing of it.  I've come to find out that in general, people think that once treatment is over, cancer has magically disappeared.  I was diagnosed Stage IV/metastatic/terminal from the get-go.  I don't hear the term terminal very much, though.  I think that it's all part of the desensitizing/sanitizing of humanity.  As an aside, I have a blog post in the works entitled "When I Die", and one of the things I...

Edited to clarify -- My 19 year old son Jimmy was allowed to come, even though he is over the age of 18.  He could not come due to work scheduling conflicts.  My husband's name is also Jimmy.  My other son, David, age 15 at the time, did come, too.  Sorry for the confusion. I've posted a photo album on my personal facebook page with all of the photos from the trip.  Here's the link if you'd like to see them:  photos Little Pink Houses of Hope is a wonderful organization.  They provide week long retreats to breast cancer patients and their families.  From their website:  "Every beach retreat is designed to help families relax, reconnect and rejuvenate during the cancer journey."  We finally had a week when we could "get away from it all", and at the same time connect with other patients and families.  I was so excited when I got the word that our application had been approved!  Our retreat was held at Ocean Lakes...

Reason 1 to get on the treadmill:  Every time I see my cardiologist, she tells me she wants me to do some cardio, not just walking slowly and steadily, but interval -- alternating walking and running.  I can do that.  I've done that before.  I'm familiar with the Couch25K app.  Many times have I started ... and many times have I stopped, and gone back to old habits.  Now, my motivation here is to keep my heart healthy.  Believe it or not, my heart is healthy.  I have echocardiograms every three months that say so.  I have echocardiograms every three months because one of the maintenance medications I'm on is known to cause heart problems.  I'll be on this medication for the rest of my life, or until it stops working.  So, keeping my heart healthy is a priority. Reason 2 to get on the treadmill:  Those 20 odd pounds I lost during my summer of chemo have been sneaking back up on me.  I had gone down a size (had to buy all ...

This blog post has been in my mind for quite some time.  When I was asked to speak to the employees of the biotech company that produces my medications, this is the topic I chose.  If you are reading this, you are a part of my village.  I appreciate each and every one of you.  Here is the link to the blog entry about my trip to San Francisco:  Visit to Genentech . Here are the highlights of the talk that I gave there: They say it takes a village to raise a child.  I also say that it takes a village to care for a sick person.  My village starts with my husband, my primary caregiver.  This man has been my rock, the person I lean on figuratively and literally.  He has come to every single medical appointment I've had.  He has dried my tears.  He has made me laugh.  He has given me strength.  I wouldn't have made it through the hell that has been the past year and a half without him.  He and my boys.  Of course, ...

What an unbelievably awesome time we had! I got to meet the people who work for the company where the medicine that keeps me alive is manufactured.  How cool is that?! Genentech is the biotech company that produces two of my maintenance medications,  Herceptin and Perjeta .  Click on the links if you want more information on the company and/or the medicines and what they do.  I receive Herceptin and Perjeta via infusion once every three weeks.  These medicines keep the cancer at bay.  I will be on them for the rest of my life. Genentech has a program called Patient Connect.  I was a part of that this year.  I flew out to San Francisco to visit the company and to talk to their employees about my experience with Perjeta.  Over the course of three days, 12 patients, on different medications, were there to speak to the employees.  My day was Friday.  The day started at 7:15am when a car picked my husband and I...

It's fair weekend where I live.  The county fair has always been a big deal here.  The schools are closed for students on the Friday of fair weekend; kids get in free on Fair Day.  Today, Saturday, was a really nice day.  Historically, going to the fair means muddy shoes; it's unusual when it doesn't rain a day or two before the fair opens, and I remember once or twice when it had to be shut down for a Hurricane.  So, with the good weather today, and my post cancer diagnosis seize the day attitude, I talked my husband and 15 year old into going with me (the 19 year old was already there, working). I was feeling good.  I had a blog post forming in my mind.  It was going to say things like, "Get outside when the weather's good, get some fresh air!" and "Have fun when the opportunity arises" and "Eat the fried oreos, ride the fun rides!" and the like.  I knew I wasn't going to able to ride my all time favorite ride but I was kind of okay...

Yesterday I saw someone I haven't seen since my diagnosis (and long hair). I was standing nearby while she chatted with someone else.  It was clear she didn't recognize me until I spoke to her.  She seemed glad to see me and asked how I was.  I explained, in the shortest version I can, that I'm "stable" and "no evidence of active disease" and will continue to be on treatment for the rest of my life.  When she asked, "How are you doing?" my answer was "Fine; I'm still alive!"  The look on her face....  I really need to remember that not everyone is comfortable with the jokes ... but it's not just that; sometimes I'm not joking but it comes out that way unintentionally. The other day I was checking out at the grocery store, and a prompt came up on the credit card scanner asking if I wanted to donate to cancer research.  I said, out loud, "No, I've already donated enough to cancer research."  Hahahaha!  I...