It's Time for the Pall of Death to Move to the Back of the Bus
Background: I saw a therapist after my terminal diagnosis. One thing that she said stuck with me. She told me that I am a wife, a mother, a sister, an aunt, a lover of books, a knitter, a teacher. Picture those and the many other aspects of myself riding on my bus. Right now (at the time of diagnosis and chemo) the cancer was driving the bus. Eventually the cancer will move to the back of the bus. Keep cancer at the back of the bus. I have been trying to do that since. I just realized that I have been living the past six years awaiting imminent death. I've been living with this pall of death hanging over my head since I received my terminal diagnosis. It really helped, what my Interventional Radiologist told me before he did my lung biopsy when I was being diagnosed, that my stage 4 was grouped with stage 4s who had two weeks or so to live, and that there needs to be [more of a breakdown -- can't remember his exact words] within the stages, and that I had many, many y