Happy New Year!
"I can't wait until Friday!"
"I can't wait until my birthday!"
"I can't wait until Halloween!"
"Christmas isn't here yet?! Counting down the days!"
Then there's the ball drop on New Year's Eve with the ten second countdown.
We're constantly looking forward to the next event.
Along the same vein, how often do we say things like, "One day, we'll...."
"One day, we'll take that trip we've been wanting to take."
"One day, we'll go visit those relatives/friends we've been meaning to see."
For me, the older I get, the faster time passes. I sure wish it would slow down.
In 2015, my eldest son graduated from high school. As he walked down from the stage back to his seat, I saw the image of him from his preschool graduation juxtaposing on the real-life image, flashing back and forth. My little boy had grown up. How did that happen?! A few months later, my youngest son became a freshman in high school. Wow.
I understand that we're all going to die someday. But that's just it. It's always "someday". Having mortality come and slap you in the face makes you stop and think. "I wish our family had taken more vacations." "I wish I hadn't yelled at my kids so much." "I wish...." Realizing that your days are numbered is a sobering thought. So now, I don't wish for Friday to get here (well, sometimes on Wednesday or Thursday when I'm super tired at work I do), I don't wish for the next holiday to arrive. All of these days come up too fast for me now. Instead of wishing time away, I'm wishing I could turn back the clock. I would love to take those untaken vacations that we never had time or money for. I would love to spend more time with my children, running in the yard/at the park, playing games, etc. It's time to start doing those things now. Don't wait any longer. No, the kids aren't little anymore, but we can still spend fun time together (movies with David, Legos with Jimmy). I'm just so tired these days.... The message here is an old one: Take time. Take time to do the things you love, with the people you love. Don't just exist and float through life. Live it. As I write this, Tim McGraw's song Live Like You Were Dying comes to mind. Talk a little sweeter. Love a little deeper.
I was looking forward to midnight on New Year's Eve this year. I haven't stayed up for the ball drop in years, but I was actually thinking about setting an alarm this year so that I could toast out the old and in the new. January 1st is symbolically a day of fresh starts, of new beginnings. I guess, for me this year, it was supposed to be me all of a sudden being magically back to normal. 2015 was such a rough year for my family, 2016 has to be better, right?! Then I realized -- the time between December 31 and January 1 is just the flip of a calendar page. I woke up this morning feeling tired, sore, and queasy, just like every other day. It's going to take some time, this recovery, time.